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START WITH WHO, DO NOT START WITH WHY
I’ve long criticized the “Start With Why” approach. Why? Because in a job interview, companies focus on what you can do for them and the impact you’ll have. They don’t ask why you’re there. As a coach, pushing too hard on “why” questions can feel accusatory and often makes people defensive. If you want people to expand on their experiences, especially during an investigation or inquiry, it’s better to ask “What happened next?” and “How did that happen?” Repeatedly asking “Why?” can come across as a personal attack, whereas understanding “what” and “how” provides more concrete, evidential information.
Companies hire people for their skills and abilities, not just because they have a compelling “why.” People aren’t hired for being generous, philanthropic, or having noble causes; they are hired to produce and contribute. Human resources are considered resources that contribute to input, process, output, and outcomeall of which relate to “what” and “how.”
For many businesses, the primary “why” is to make money and provide shareholder value, not a noble cause. When you genuinely ask people about their purpose and motivations, the “why” often relates to relationships and personal influences, such as family or role models. In this context, “why” is about who they are and who inspires them.
Therefore, I don’t advocate for recruiting solely based on someone’s “why.” Ignoring their skills, talent, experience, and expertise is misguided. The idea that a meaningful “why” can transcend actual ability is simply unfounded.
Instead, perhaps start with who. Who are you meeting, interviewing, collaborating with, or marrying? Life is about people, and focusing on “who” can be more beneficial.
Key to Success:
1. Start with WHO: Understand the people you’re interacting with, whether they are colleagues, clients, or partners. Knowing who they are helps build strong, meaningful relationships.
2. Know WHAT they want/need: Once you understand the people, identify their desires and needs. This step is crucial for providing relevant support and solutions.
3. Understand WHY this is important: Recognize the significance of their needs and desires. Understanding the underlying reasons can help you approach the situation with empathy and insight.
4. Determine HOW you can support: Finally, figure out the best ways to offer your support or solutions. Knowing the people, their needs, and the importance of those needs will guide you in providing effective and meaningful assistance.
I cannot recommend this more highly: The story of why. An excerpt from my new book The Road to Hell, examining the case of influential purpose pioneer Simon Sinek.
Links to further reading
The story of why. An excerpt from my new book The Road to Hell, examining the case of influential purpose pioneer Simon Sinek.
https://nickasbury.substack.com/p/the-story-of-why
My past reflections include these..
Pros And Cons Of Starting With why Compared To what And how
2024/06/13 – https://thinkingfeelingbeing.com/2024/06/13/pros-and-cons-of-starting-with-why-compared-to-what-and-how/
Why Is A Lie Start With What
2023/01/23 – https://thinkingfeelingbeing.com/2023/01/23/why-is-a-lie-start-with-what/
